i haven't posted much in a while

..but when i do its just depressing.

 Sometimes I really wonder if this was just a one-way thing? Or maybe you lost interest in me or something. I don't know. It's a feeling of helplessness that I can't shake, I can't bear this feeling and I can't simply walk away.

 It makes me wonder about everything, if any of it was ever real. If any of it was really true. I wish I knew..

 I wish I could turn back time and change the way things turned out. But then I'm not sure if I could have made any difference. Maybe I should have been better? A person that wouldn't have walked away from you? A person that you wouldn't have walked away from? Or does that not matter anyway?

 The future moves forward, but I feel I'm stuck here in the past. Neither going back nor moving forward, just experiencing indefinite sadness.