:/

A lot has happened since I last wrote here. We hit a two month milestone, and a third month is coming soon. KH concert tomorrow. I'm on meds everyday, probably for the rest of my life. A friend broke up their relationship of 6 years. Another friend doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut about things that aren't his to say. I'm starting a new semester of classes plus internship next week, which is two days away.

a new beginning?

Idk, thinking about this actually makes me pretty nervous lol. I'm tempted to be optimistic for this one.

At least the previous chapter interlude has ended, i really shouldn't have gotten myself tangled in that but i was young and stupid, or so i tell myself

What's happening to me

I don't even know anymore. Head hurts and questions I should ask myself.

E/ I feel like I'm making things worse

Relief

Seeing a smile on that face

redemption? hope?

not even sure how to put this post into words

I don't want to guess

Just in case I'm wrong. Or just in case I'm right.

I did something wrong

And I cannot expect forgiveness for something that I can't forgive myself for

2

Red like roses
Fills my head with dreams and finds me
Always closer
To the emptiness and sadness
That has come to take the place of you

i am a bad person

thats really all there is to it

I don't come here that often

But whenever I do there's always a different story..

What is right? What is wrong? How can we know that what we do falls into either category? Is it simply subject to societal morality? Or is it some inner compass that guides us, what people commonly call a conscience?

I don't know.

Is it simply out of a frying pan and into a fire?

ruby

fin

.

a year

a year since everything began

i still miss you
or do i?

i'm okay, i'm okay, i'm okay

as long as i keep telling myself i'm okay, then i'm okay, right?

time moves on, yet i don't seem to be able to do the same...

why oh why

can i not get over it

I hit 23 today

Yet I can't seem to let go of the dull pain inside me. It's a depressing birthday I guess. At least I played some BBCPEX today.

i haven't posted much in a while

..but when i do its just depressing.

 Sometimes I really wonder if this was just a one-way thing? Or maybe you lost interest in me or something. I don't know. It's a feeling of helplessness that I can't shake, I can't bear this feeling and I can't simply walk away.

 It makes me wonder about everything, if any of it was ever real. If any of it was really true. I wish I knew..

 I wish I could turn back time and change the way things turned out. But then I'm not sure if I could have made any difference. Maybe I should have been better? A person that wouldn't have walked away from you? A person that you wouldn't have walked away from? Or does that not matter anyway?

 The future moves forward, but I feel I'm stuck here in the past. Neither going back nor moving forward, just experiencing indefinite sadness.

emotion

doubt. uncertainty. helplessness.

i'm confused

title

why the hell

am i so bothered

Fucking ridiculous

At school get bitched at for not being home. At home also get bitched at. Whats the difference? Probably should just dropout and go find a job

can someone tell me

why the fuck do i even try?

anything and everything i do is also "not enough" or "not good enough"

fuck you

i sacrifice so much, for fuck? you want to talk so much, you show me you have the right to talk.

vtv

5v 2a

for reference

this is

so hot

difference

There is a difference between not sharing your friend’s taste in k-pop, and campaigning for iTunes to stop the sales of k-pop

afford

http://imgur.com/CVkjls0

regret

No the title is not referring to the Mai Hoshimura song.

 I kinda regret not checking the Asia PS store before buying BBCP on the Jap PS store. I thought I would never really want to play other games but these past couple of weeks have made me rethink that. Now I wish I could just transfer the game from Jap account to Asia account so I don't have to keep swapping memory cards to play ROA/BBCP. BUT NOPE

Once Upon A Me

so

i almost collapsed in the bus on the way home today.. wtf

programming

why is it that i learn more object oriented programming from surfing a game forum than actually attending OOP class?

4824

5b 5c 3c 236c 6d 2c 5b 5c jc jb jc 236c 5d 236236c

izayoi

http://youtu.be/MFmuYIkEW9c

<3

sudden realization

those people who take photos of their screens.. are actually right.

because screenphotos are harder to edit than screenshots.


EDIT: why don't we just edit the screenshot and then take a photo of it >_>

Acquisition

Isn't that what humanity has come to be?

free to play

so many singapore scenes

mirror

i can keep me from the world
why wont you let me hide from me

those days

i miss the days, years back, where we could just hang around and do nothing. being twenty something isn't the same. we're technically considered adults and expected to adhere to a certain standard of behaviour. i wanna just chill and.. whatever.

piano, bike, walk, nua..

everyone is so busy nowadays. :c

spent too much time thinking. 1h45 bus to and fro, 2h sentry, 2h40 sentry.. why can't i forget.

them feels.

need to stop.

fasterrrr

apr 24

Paper Towns

Paper Towns by John Green is a good read.
Really.

Unless you absolutely can't read anything that has obscenities published in it.

In which case I'm sorry for your loss.

be careful what you wish for

you might regret it after you get it

White

Mirror, tell me something.
Tell me who's the loneliest of all?

Fear of, what's inside of me.
Tell me can a heart be turned to stone?

rwby

Come at me
Then you'll see
I'm more than
Meets the eye

a runner

its who i am. how long can you run?

socketing

that's 200 shiny and lots of vis per click

gear

if we can get so far with shit gear, what does it say about those with better gears who can't even get anywhere near?

80 questions about GE

1. What is your Family name? u*****leh

2. What GE-version/server do you play on? sGE Bach

3. What is your family level and how many characters do you have? Family level 40, 30+ chars

4. What faction are you in? (If any) What is your alliance? (Royalist/Republican/Neutral) Factionless, Pegadilla

5. How long have you played GE? Since 07

6. How did you start playing GE? MCC3, skills, stances

7. How did you come up with your Family name? uthinkeh

■ Stock character questions

8. Which stock character is your favorite? They all suck / Elementalist

9. Please talk freely about fighters. Used to be decent; Totally obsoleted by most RNPCs now. Female fighter all the way though. Peltast needs a buff

10. Favorite fighter stances and skills? Advance Garde - Entrer en Lices / Low Guard / Crusader - Defiant Aura / Hanging Guard - Volition / Equites - Golpe

11. Please talk freely about wizards. Telekinesis hurts. Obsoleted otherwise. Female wizard is pretty

12. Favorite wizard stances and skills? Darkness - Whole Cancellation

13. Please talk freely about musketeers. Unlimited Shots. Obsoleted otherwise.

14. Favorite musketeer stances and skills? Flintlock - Swift Shot

15. Please talk freely about scouts. Did you mean Emilia? Battle Medicine is unreleased at the moment.

16. Favorite scout stances and skills? Tactical Assistance - Riff. Totally underused.

17. Please talk freely about the elementalists. Female elem, nuff said. Waiting for Master of Elements stance to be released.

18. Favorite elementalist stance and skills? Occult Magic - Abyss Flare. Tension too.

19. Favorite speech/voices of stock characters? Mute

20. Favorite costume/equipment for stock characters? Female fighter - Elite Arcanero Plate

21. What do you expect of stock characters in the future? More stock exclusive stances. Give us a reason to not play RNPCs.

■ RNPC/UPC character questions

22. Favorite male RNPC/UPC? I don't use male characters much somehow.

23. Favorite female RNPC/UPC? Claire, Daria, Emilia, Elisa, Catherine Torsche, Catherine INT, Auch Infantry, Ludin

24. Favorite RNPC/UPC stance and skills? Death Stunt / Death Cut / Third Element / Fallen Angel / Flame Hammer / Minor Shot

25. Favorite speech/voices of RNPCs/UPCs? Mute

26. What RNPC/UPC would you recommend to use? Catherine INT. Dual function as an amazingly weird tank

27. What was your most memorable recruitment quest? None

28. Favorite RNPC/UPC that hasn't yet been recruited or released? Ludin hasn't been recruited yet.

29. Favorite costume/equipment for RNPC/UPC? Cineraria. Also, Natalie needs a costume.

30. What do you expect of RNPCs/UPCs in the future? Interesting stuff

31. Here is Gracielo, looking at you from afar. You feel like he wants to be partners with you. Will you let him join your Family? Vault

■ MCC3 questions

32. What characters do you prefer? Knockback

33. What character do you secretly hate? Catherine the Summoner. Jack. Diego. Angie.

34. What is your main MCC3 team? (List more if you have more than 1 main team) Natalie, Claire, Elisa / Natalie, Catherine INT, Elisa / Natalie, Catherine Torsche, Elisa / Emilia, Catherine INT, Elisa

35. What team would you think of if you saw the sentence "These are real men..."? Andre, Claude, Alejandro

36. What MCC3 team would you like to use? (Okay to include not yet implemented characters) Emilia, Ludin, Elisa when I get Ludin. Natalie, Catherine Torsche, Emilia when I get some extra leather armor. Or Natalie, Daria, Emilia

37. What stats would you primarily add to fighter-types (including RNPCs/UPCs)? Gavin and Natalie are fighter type. Obviously DEX.

38. Stats for wizard-types? Catherine the Summoner is a wizard type. CHA.

39. Stats for scout-types? Veronif is a scout type. INT.

40. Stats for musketeer-types? Raven would probably be STR.

41. Stats for elementalist-types? Catherine INT would make an epic HP tank

42. Do you make use of any combination buffs? Officer, Misunderstanding

■ Equipment questions

43. What is your most prideful equipment? +9 Penetrator with +ATK to Humans. And socketed with +Penetration rumin. ELITE RING MAIL AND PIONEER'S MYSTERIOUS LEATHER ARMOR.

44. What is the nicest equipment you acquired as a drop/in roulette? Are you lucky with drops? No idea.

45. Do you enhance items? What is your highest enhancement failure and success? +9 Penetrator, and other +9s.

46. Do you think certain enhancement NPCs have more chance to succeed than others? Which one? I don't usually bother but if I have to choose I'd pick Idge

47. Do you enchant items? What is the best stat you have gotten? Humans. Best. Stat. Ever.

48. Do you craft your own equipments? Sometimes

■ PvP questions

49. What is your experience with victory and defeat in PvP? World Cross Empire Rank

50. What MCC3 teams are often used in Team PvP? Catherine INT, Claire, Elisa makes for a good AOE spamfest.

51. Please talk about some common tactics. Knockback.

52. What are you proud of to achieve in PvP? Beating all the +7 cons users who get carried by gear

53. What is the most annoying MCC3 team in PvP? Darkness Sharon

54. Your most impressive PvP memory? My CT CathINT Elisa vs CT Ludin Elisa. My Elisa was +10 INT, his was higher. Both teams took very long to die.

55. Have you joined Colony War/Alliance War? It used to be good, but hey

56. Any thoughts or expectations about PvP in the future? More world cross, perhaps even CW in world cross mode.

■ Other questions

57. What is your favorite pet? None

58. What kind of pet would you like to implement? None

59. Favorite pose? Ctrl Alt LeftClick isn't a pose but it would totally win

60. Please post a favorite screenshot here. Not at home, no GE, no screenshot.

61. What is your favorite monster? Golden Spider, I've killed hundreds of them.

62. What is your least favorite monster? Perfect Fordoi

63. Do you participate in raids? Yes.

64. Do you have a favorite leveling map? No

65. What map, that you've never been to, would you like to visit? Armonia City

66. What is your favorite city? Coimbra

67. What is your favorite background music from the game? Esa Promesa, Rhapsody, Rapal

68. What is your favorite raid/mission/instance? Please explain about it. Chateau de Bourgogne. MCC1 just makes it so unique

69. What is your favorite official event? PVP tournaments

70. Have you participated in events organized by the gameprovider or individuals? PVP Tournaments.

71. What thoughts do you have about the Cash Shop/Item Mall? They gotta profit somehow.

72. What about any of the gambling webgames related to GE? I never believe in gambling, the odds always favour the provider

73. Let's be honest. How much do you think people spend in the above mentioned things? You pay for what you get.

74. What are your fond memories of GE? The days when Vivaldi just merged into Bach, also the days where I participated in CW.

75. And as well, your bitter memories? Regrets

76. Do you have any general thoughts, suggestions or ideas about GE? More balanced PVP. Some of us really have no time to farm for all that gear you know. Maybe you could make the gear matter less. Of course it still has to have some impact or else no one would ever bother getting gear.

77. What do you think about your GE-versions next update? Just waiting for Armonia

78. Take care of yourself in and out of GE! Any words of advice about doing so? AFKing non stop isn't playing the game.

79. What do you think about the gameprovider and GMs of your GE-version? I Am Hopeless. GMs seem to be invisible nowadays as opposed to Xanxus days. Wish they could make more impact in the game. The testers also seem to have gotten worse

80. Cheers for your good work!

get

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A 5TH STANCE HOTKEY